Who’s a clever boy?

It seems that even simple activities such as using a stepladder, picking up a box or in this case, riding a ‘bike’ needs a complex manual, course of training or a certificate. Everyone seems to be covering their backs so that they will not be blamed if something goes wrong when someone else fouls up because they have not taken responsibility for their own actions. Writing a manual is the equivalent of retiring to an air raid shelter. Those inside can claim that in the event of an accident, those involved should have read the manual. I have in mind a tome of 93 pages written in a strange syntax published by The Association of Chief Police Officers on the subject of how to ride a bike. It is entitled “Police Cycle Training Doctrine”.
Unfortunately the skills needed to decipher the language used in this training manual are greater than the skills needed to perform the pedalling activities being explained in the book. Who on earth would use the expressions “rear scan”, “double file” or “deploy into a junction?” Such bastardised language can only be used by cliques to exclude others from their activities and thereby attempt to add an air of mystery to their clique. In this case publishing the 93 page tome just resulted in ridiculing the Association of Chief Police Officers.
Perhaps I am being overly harsh with my criticism. I was a precocious child. I developed the “key skill” of braking my pedal bike before I could read and write!